Do you ever feel a bit overwhelmed? That life is sometimes just a bit too much? That you have taken on more than you can handle? Or that all your good efforts don’t seem to make a difference?
If so, then you are certainly not alone. I sense that was how the disciples felt as they left the upper room on that Thursday, many years ago. It had been a long three-year journey with this up-country Rabbi. The intensity of his gaze, the provocative nature of his teachings, his call for a deeper love for God and neighbor --- all of this and more were what they encountered when they responded to his invitation to ‘come and follow me’. I don’t think any of them knew where the journey would lead. And now, on what would be a special Thursday evening, they gathered.
It had been a busy week after the entry into Jerusalem. The entry itself had certainly been an exciting time. The palm waving crowds were large; their excitement was certainly overwhelming. Yet the entrance was seen as a provocative act by the authorities both secular and religious. They wondered if this was the beginning of some sort of rebellion. Then, in the week that followed, Jesus would leave the city eachF evening and go to nearby Bethany, apparently for safety sake. But each day he would go back into the city to teach and heal. On one of those days he went to the Temple and turned over the tables of the money changers who were operating in a section of the Temple grounds called the Court of the Gentiles. Their mercantile activities were keeping Gentiles from worshiping. He would have none of it. The Temple was a house of prayer for all people. But the authorities were certainly not pleased.
And now, on Thursday evening, they had gathered for a meal. When the meal was over, Jesus stood up and told the disciples, as he broke bread, that the broken bread in his hands was what was soon going to happen to his body and the cup, that he then help up, would illustrate his blood that would soon be shed. They did not understand it all but they were there with him and, perplexed as they were, that was all that mattered.
Then off to a garden to pray. Good grief, how much can one pack into a day, or a week? They were worn out but he asked them to stay awake while he prayed. But tired bodies have their own needs. They fell asleep. Poet Mary Oliver, looking back on this story, has captured their weariness in her poem ‘Gethsemane’ (Thirst: Poems by Mary Oliver):
‘So utterly human’ the poet says. Indeed. Perhaps we are more than a little like those disciples: weary in well doing. How many marches do we have to engage in; how many letters must we write; how many signs must we hold; how many calls do we need to make; how many prayers do we need to say; how many tears do we have to shed? There is monstrous evil abroad in our land and there is much to do. But sometimes our bodies are simply tired and worn and we need to rest and even fall asleep as did they.
To do so is okay. Take your rest as needed. But Easter dawn will come to us as it did to them. New vigor will help us continue the journey even as they would continue theirs. Holy Thursday and Good Friday are important moments to experience, to remember, to ponder, and to weep. But Easter does come and the work will still be there to do and we will engage it with renewed spirit. May it be so in your life and in mine.